I hear the voices
Whispering through the dark night
With my eyes shut, trying to ignore
But the ears can't help but hear

It calls for me
Should I go?
What if it is danger?
But what if it is a chance?

Am I ready to take another step
Or is this another huge mistake
Every decision I make
Another is at stake

Show me what isn't usual
Show me your powers
Shine through the gloomy night
Show that you are no harm

I'm willing to take the risk
Once again taking a huge step
For the great or worst
Into the abyss I'll go

i get drunk on the scent you left me.
your shirt still smells like you.
our photographs i can't let go.
the inside jokes i wish i could still share with you.

your voice i long for.
the late night calls we used to make.
every time you used to sing for me,
even if it was loud,
it sounded like a sweet melody in my ear.

but now the room is quiet.
the emptiness and silence kills me.
for my love have went his own way
and so am i.

but you,
you are the energy that kept me going.
you were the reason why i get up in the morning.
how could i continue
when the one who kept me going is not here anymore?

how can i continue?
how can i go on?
tell me.
i know you're still there.

but we can't.
i'm sorry my love,
i could not do anything.
nor should i do anything.

but promise me,
you're still here,
fighting.
'til the time comes
that maybe,
maybe this time
you can be my man once again.

photo from pinterest.com

It’s the first day,
She thought she would be okay
But she makes no friends
So, she ends up in the restroom where she eats.

Hey Cady, what's up with you lately?
Have you considered not being such a baby?
It's okay to be unheeded in the hallway.
Damian Leigh doesn't even mind being called gay.

It's Wednesday, the Plastics are here.
I should have worn the pink dress with a boutonniere;
Are we not allowed to wear sweatpants?
Or maybe I should get implants?

Don't give her that seat,
She's a Mathlete.
And not even the athletes;
Because we only want the neats.

Even in Ms. Norbury's math class;
You still have to enter with class
And a little sass.
You can also stare at Aaron Samuels' ass.

It's okay Cady, it's the life in High.
But no matter how hard you try;
You can't even say Hi.
But you can survive if you sly.

Kapayapaan.
Hindi lang ng mundong ginagalawan,
Kundi ng pagiisip.
Sa mga gumugulo sa isipan,
Sa mga tanong na pilit bumabagabag.

Katarungan.
Katarungan para sa katawang ninakaw.
Para sa nawalan.
Para sa sinaktan.
Para sa inabuso.

Kailan?
Kailan ako makatatakas?
Kailan ko makakamit ang katarungang inaasam?
Sa sariling mundong tila ako’y bilanggo.
Sa bawat paggalaw tila may nagmamatyag.

Saan?
Saan ako makatatakas?
Saan ako makakapagtago?
Mula sa karumihan.
Mula sa kawalang katarungan.

Sino?
Sino ang nariyan?
Sino ang makapagliligtas?
Sino ang dirinig?
Ang dirinig ng aming tanging hiling.

Fight for the aim
Die for the claim
Cry for the shame
To battle the dying of the light that once they had
In the Flavian’s uproar;
The fall of the underdogs is seemed silently underneath

The crowded dark room where their bodies were casted
The heat from the blazing fire
Who waits to feast the turkeys
The thieves who scrimmage for the gladiators’ Balteus
The glare and whispers of the quidnuncs

The wives’ grieve for their own heroes
Who were as if facilely defeated
The floor painted with blood red from the lost
It is their last outcry for the dark fall.

photo by Danese Miranda

You know, 2018 wasn’t really a nice year. As the end of the year is approaching, I see most of my friends and other people in social media are saying likewise. 2018 was a scam! I even told myself “Hey 2017 was pretty rough, I guess 2018’s gonna be your year.” Turns out it was way worse. You see, many of us said it as well, we also thought it was gonna be our year but then just played us real bad.

So in this blog I’ll try to recall my 2018 and make it in a quick summary, what have I experienced and as well as what I have learned through the year.

The first month was terrible, yup umpisa palang ang sama na ng salubong sakin. January took a looong time (well I think every January is) and all I remember was pain tbh it was no fun. It was resume of classes after Christmas break and I don’t even wanna go to school anymore and honestly I don’t want to see everyone’s faces (everyone at school). Going to school makes me feel sick and just every time I go to school I just wanna go home right away. And it was just like that through the whole school year. I’d say my Junior years wasn’t really pleasant for me.

Summer 2018 was pretty boring, I didn’t get to go to the beach even, but it was refreshing for me finally when I moved up from 10th grade. The feeling was, finally I get to move on as well from that horrible junior life. That’s also the time when we moved to our new home so it was exciting for me because it is a new start for me. I’d say I wanted the year to be for me moving on and finally doing something different and just forget every painful memories I had to go through. And of course it wasn’t easy. I had a hard time regaining my passion into doing the things I like and honestly until now I feel like I completely lost it but I don’t lose hope as I go on, I try to think positive out of the horrible moments I went through. It served a lesson to me, that pain is inevitable in our life and it is up to us how are we gonna view our pain in life. Being hurt was traumatizing for me, I guess because I always thought what did I even do to deserve it but then I realized whenever someone gets hurt it is not a punishment rather it is something one must experience in order to feel anything. I don’t even know if I make sense but that is how I see it.

The summer took a long time as well because I had it for almost 5 months. Back to school 2018 then a new life began for me. In my first year in Senior I have already experienced a lot and met new people and I am so grateful to have my new classmates. I am a HUMSS student, and by being so I did not expect it to be like that. I think the only good part of the year was transferring to a new school and meeting new people. I am truly grateful to have such awesome people to be with through out the school year.

The first year of senior was as if it’s my first time riding a roller coaster, I had no idea what’s about to come but I’m already expecting ups and downs. I had my ups and downs during that time and by going through it, it made me become whoever I am and who will I become this 2019. I’d say it was the road to independence, I had to realize I really am on my own this time. Though I have my friends but not all the time you have them and it’s okay. Schoolworks was stressful and all, from individual works to groupworks. Having those taught me patience and determination, patience with everyone around you and you’re working with and determination to get things done before time. I am the kind of student who’s just contented on whatever’s done and will not even try to make much better out of it and being like that with other people in your group with different personality is hard but I learned to be patient and it also taught me to strive for much better product or output, try my best.

The year was tiring, that is all I can say. There was a lot going on with my mind, my feelings, and in everything around me. Worse year? Maybe but one thing that’s positive about it is that I’ve learned more than I ever did and experienced every emotions I could have ever had. I have no idea what 2019 has in store for me but I wish it’s all for my own good and I pray for a better me. I’m of course still expecting pain along the way because pain is something we cannot avoid (in this system of things) But I believe we somewhat need pain in order for us to grow because if we don’t experience pain and hardships we will not learn to appreciate things and work hard for them.

That’s all for this 2018 Year Review.

Subscribe to Pewdiepie (this is not for the meme, I really want people to subscribe to him because he is just an amazing person and he deserves every love he is getting.)

Yours randomly,

Danese Miranda

To myself,

Sobrang proud ako sayo, you made it through everything you thought hindi mo kaya. You are totally worth it, more than enough! Akala mo lang hindi kasi yung negative side lang nakikita mo. At sila? Hindi ka nila deserve, bakit? Kasi sobrang bait mo na to the point na inaabuso na lang nila. Sana this time yung sariling feelings mo naman ngayon unahin mo. ‘Wag mo namang isipin na lang palagi ang iniisip ng tao, oo mahirap pero unti-unti kakayanin mo rin. Maganda ka, higit pa sa akala mo. Ikaw ang pinaka magandang babaeng nakilala ko, hindi man sa panlabas pero sa panloob, oo. Hindi ka man perpekto pero kontento na ako sa kung sino ka at patuloy kong pasasalamatan and Diyos dahil nag e-exist ka. He’s the only one to take a credit for His masterpiece and that is YOU.

 

(image is from weheartit.com)

“What is something you appreciate most about yourself?”

Honestly, answering this question made me think of what do I really appreciate about myself and how do I see myself. It made me realize how hard it is to see the good traits and qualities I have when all I see is negativity and I guess it’s because I’m in the stage wherein I’m still unsure of who I am completely. Sometimes I think that I am not enough or not good enough and that I am just lazy and I do nothing meaningful. But as I grow up I think less of that, I’m trying to see that I am better than I just think I am. One thing I realized is that I do have a good and genuine heart. Growing up studying the Bible helped me to become spiritually matured and that I am fully aware of why I exist and that I do have a purpose. So I guess that one thing I appreciate most about myself is that no matter how people treat me badly and unfairly I still manage to look at their good side or motives. I try to understand one’s mind and why he/she did such thing. Another thing is that I forgive too easily, I guess that one thing I learned from God’s traits is that He is fast in forgiving and slow in being angry so why shouldn’t we too?

Yours randomly,

Danese Miranda, 2018

(image is from weheartit.com)

what if we never met

what if we never saw each other

what if we never had to be together

what if we were just close as strangers

 

the questions we asked

was never answered

said it was all just a glimpse

 

tired of the drama

just hoped for the karma

but loving you was a dilemma

 

what if we stayed

will we be the same

what if we fought for it

will it be worth it

 

By yours randomly,

Danese Miranda, 7/19/18

 

(image is from weheartit.com)

Nababagabag ang puso.

Hinahanap kung ika’y nariyan parin.

Turuan mo akong limutin ka.

Hihilinging ika’y bumalik.

Unti-unting tatanggapin ika’y wala na.

Nang sa iyong pagpikit ang mundo’y nawala na.

Ating pinagsamahan iyong maaalala pa kaya?

Hindi akalaing iyon na ang huli.

 

Nagmamahal at kailan ma’y hindi makakalimot,

Danese, 9/22/18

 

(image is from weheartit.com)